


Rest

by starvonnie



Series: Flare, Flicker, Fade [7]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Transformer Sparklings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 16:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15465228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starvonnie/pseuds/starvonnie
Summary: Megatron and Rodimus land on an uninhabited planet to rest and refuel and discuss their future with their son, Flare.





	Rest

**Author's Note:**

> This is the final installment of the Flare, Flicker, Fade series alternate story/ending. I hope you like it!

"It's a lot like Earth, huh?"

Megatron registered that Rodimus had said something, but his processor didn't bother to decipher his words.  He was far too invested in the sparkling nestled in his lap and the task at hand.  Gently stroking Flare's crest, his optics slowly shuttered and his winglets came to rest on his back.  It was too early to tell if they would become actual wings or doorwings.  Or maybe a spoiler like his carrier.  They were already quite expressive.

A hand brushed Megatron's exposed crest and it made him jump, roughly jostling Flare's, who squeaked.

"Sorry, sweetspark," Megatron murmured, petting where he had hurt.  Smoothing over his own crest, he turned with a frown to look up at Rodimus. 

"Sorry.  I was trying to be gentle."  Rodimus laced his fingers together.  "You're a lot better at that than I am."

Flare had been disturbed from his almost-recharge state, but a few more careful combs through his crest had him close again.  Optics half-shuttered, ventilations slowing, basking in the sun.  His little hands shifted closer to his face and he nuzzled into them, giving a little sigh.

"I still can't believe we made that," Rodimus murmured with wonder, sitting down beside his conjunx and lightly leaning on him.  Putting a hand over his chest, he added, "Especially from my spark."

Megatron turned and pressed a light kiss to the side of Rodimus’ helm.  “Your spark is what made him so beautiful.”

Rodimus smiled and leaned his helm on Megatron’s shoulder.  “It was a joint effort.”

Megatron said nothing to that but leaned a little closer to Rodimus while he kept petting Flare’s crest.  His little optics had closed again and his winglets settled again.  Right in his favourite sleeping place.  His _easiest_ , they’d found.  A tiny spike of jealousy at not being his favourite was quickly dismissed.  Flare still spent a good deal of nights slumbering right on Rodimus’ chest, close to the spark that had given him life.

“Maybe in a few months we can take him exploring,” Rodimus said.  “When he can walk on his own.  Maybe even transform.”  He beamed.  “I can’t wait for his first transformation.”

"We shouldn't stay for too long," Megatron fret, giving a glance back at the ship. 

"This planet's uninhabited," Rodimus said.  Then, when something flew by, he added, "At least by intelligent life forms.  So it's not like anyone's here to report us."

Megatron gave a low growl.

"Just a few days," Rodimus compromised.  "All Flare's known is the inside of that ship."

"I know."  Megatron's words were little more than a rumbling in his chest.

"Hey."  Rodimus hugged Megatron's arm, running his fingers along his forearm.  "I know you're worried, but it's been quiet for so long now.  Maybe they've stopped looking for us.  It's not like we've caused any trouble."

"Not lately," Megatron agreed begrudgingly.  "But that doesn't erase what I've done."

Rodimus sighed and let his hand slide down Megatron's arm until he could interlace their fingers.  Waiting until Megatron curled his hand around Rodimus', he said, "We've got to be there for Flare, now."  He smiled when their sparkling shifted in recharge, letting his smile slip into his tone.  "We can't worry about the past now.  We have to give him a good future.  He can't have that as long as we keep him cooped up in that ship."

"I know that, Rodimus."  Megatron turned away from him, away from Flare, his crest rising and falling in waves.  "They wanted a trial.  A verdict.  I can't give them that now.  I can't leave Flare."  He resisted the urge to disturb his sleep.  It was hard to not stroke his crest, especially since he knew how nice and relaxing it felt.  If it was done right, anyways.  Turning to his conjunx, he brought the hand he was holding to his mouth, kissing it gently.  He met his optics as he said, "I can't leave you."

"You don't have to, now."  Rodimus smiled warmly.  "We can go wherever we want.  We can make a new home."

"You two _are_ my home."

Optics softening, Rodimus murmured, "Then I guess it doesn't matter where we are.  Here is as good a place as any.  Plus, there's tons of energon here.  All we have to do is refine it."

"They'll find us if we stay for too long," Megatron said. 

"Then we won't stay for too long," Rodimus said with a shrug.  "But it can't hurt to have somewhere to come back to when we need a break.  We could build a semi-forever home, yeah?  Maybe underground.  We'll shield it."

Megatron didn't answer him.  As long as they were both with him, they weren't safe.  It killed him to know that Flare's best protection was to have him as far away as possible.  If they could somehow take him back to Cybertron, or the Lost Light, he could have a normal life.  So long as he never revealed who his parents were.  If he had left before Flare knew him.  His absence would only damage him now.

Picking up Flare, Megatron cradled him in his arms.  He was so small.  So vulnerable.  And for something with his CNA, pretty damn cute.  He only briefly awoke when Megatron stood, but his optics closed as quickly they had opened.  He cradled up to Megatron's chest, his ventilations tickling his Autobot symbol.

"No good-byes, no regrets," Rodimus murmured as he stood, too, reaching up to stroke Megatron's face.  "I know that look.  I know what you're thinking."

"I'm sorry, Rodimus, I just..."  He held Flare more protectively.

"Nope.  You don't get to do this.  I don't care what you think would be better for me, because _I_ know that my life has only gotten better with you in it."  Rodimus reached over Megatron's arm slowly, knowing when he held Flare like that, he saw just about anyone as a threat.  Sometimes it would take him a moment to remember that his own carrier wouldn't hurt him.  He got a small growl, nearly inaudible, but he was able to find Flare's cheek to give it a light caress.  "You've given me a sparkling.  I always kind of wanted one, but...  I dunno...  I didn't think I'd make a very good parent."

“You have given me so much, Rodimus,” Megatron murmured.  “More than I could ask for.  More than I _should_ ask for.”

Rodimus stretched up onto the fore of his pedes and kissed Megatron’s sagging cheek, realizing just how old the weight of his feelings made him look.  How the years made his spark, his frame, weak.  How he, too, would never be the same mech he was before the war.  Before Nyon fell.  Before his spark had tasted the infinity that was the Matrix.

“Megatron, I love you.  I don’t love you because you manipulated me into it.  Hell, you pushed me away so much I figured you really didn’t want me.  You didn’t ask for this, I gave it to you.  Don’t beat yourself up because you _accepted_ it.  And besides, you knocked me up, so you’re stuck with me now.”  Rodimus ended his mini speech on a little laugh, trying to play up the humour of the situation.

Megatron still frowned, but a little less than usual.

“So, whatcha think they’re gonna turn into?” Rodimus changed the subject.  “My bet’s on a car.”

A shrug was Megatron’s only reply.

“C’mon, Megs, it doesn’t hurt to guess.  And it doesn’t hurt to take a break.  Please?  The ship’ll notify us if anything gets close.”  He rested a hand on Megatron’s arm just shy of Flare’s slumbering form.  “What good will you be to him if you aren’t rested if something _does_ happen?”

Playing to Megatron’s sensibilities usually worked.  Usually.  When Megatron still refused to speak to him, he returned to the comforts of humour.

"Maybe he'll be a gun," Rodimus teased.  He chuckled as he said, “We’ll wake up to a hole in our ship and Flare will just be sitting there on the floor.”

The sigh Megatron gave was so loud and long that Rodimus wouldn't have been surprised if they had heard it all the way from Cybertron.  Wouldn't that be something?  Their journey ended with Megatron's inability to sigh like a normal mech.  The humour was somewhat lost when Rodimus saw his optics, though.  Saw how he hugged Flare closer.  If he weren't so enamoured with their creation, he might have fears that his sire intended to crush him in his arms.

"The war would follow me here," Megatron whispered so quietly that Rodimus almost didn't catch it.

"Hey..."  Rodimus stroked his conjunx's cheek, but it did nothing to relieve him of his anguish.  "I was only kidding.  I'm sorry."

"No."  Megatron shook his helm, a much more reasonable sigh following.  "No, it's not you.  I have much to regret, Rodimus.  A life's worth.  And I said I wouldn't feel it, but I do.  I regret that you and my son have to live with my mistakes.  Flare may very well have a normal life once he is ready to be on his own, but it will be one where he cannot acknowledge his parents, much less be _proud_ of them.  And I wonder...  I wonder what will lessen the hurt.  Should I tell him all that I've done?  Or should I allow the universe to do it?  One way or another, he will know.  He will know what I've done.  He will understand why he was born on a ship rather than Cybertron.  Why we were never in one place for very long.  Why sometimes, when we made planet fall, I could not follow.  Why we were always on the—"

"Woah, woah, woah..."  Each "woah" was softer and slower than the last.  Rodimus stroked the arms that held Flare all the while, though his face showed no comfort.  "How long has this been on your mind?"

"It never leaves, Rodimus."

"Well.  I guess I have to tell these thoughts that they've overstayed their welcome, hm?"  He gave him a little smile.  "I think we need to amend this whole regretting thing.  Maybe forbidding it was a bit extreme.  But letting it consume you is just as extreme, don't you think?"

"But—"

"No 'buts.'  What's done is done and cannot be undone.  The war happened.  We happened.  Flare happened.  No amount of wishing or regretting is going to make any of that change.  Do we tell Flare?  That’s up to you.  But you're right.  One way or another, he's going to find out.  And yes, there's a chance he may never speak to you again.  But..."  He encouraged Megatron to unfurl, but it was only by his conscious choice that that happened.  Slowly, but surely, he relaxed, then turned more towards his conjunx.  It was a rare moment that he allowed himself to take comfort in Rodimus.  "But there's a chance that he won't.  And, like the past, there is no way to change his reaction.

"You know, I seem to remember some grumpy old mech telling me that worrying about whether or not I'll make a good parent wouldn't make me a better parent.  That all I could do was my best with what life has given me.  And what life has given me is a loving conjunx and a beautiful sparkling.  And Megatron, if I was given the chance to do it all over again, I would choose you.  I would choose this.  Just maybe next time you _don't_ shoot me through the spark?"  Rodimus placed on Megatron’s chest with a smile, emitting nothing but love through his field to let him know that he held no resentment.  Still, though, was the light of regret, or rather, lack thereof, in his red optics.  "Joking helps me," he murmured.  "But I can stop if it doesn't help you."

"It's not the jokes, Rodimus.  It's knowing that you're right.  That there's nothing I can do to change this.  That I've doomed Flare to a life in my shadow, no matter where he goes."

"Okay, Megs, you really gotta lighten up.  You know how sensitive Flare is to our fields right now, and yours is just a mess of bad feelings."  When Megatron snapped his back to his frame, Rodimus said, "That doesn't mean hide your feelings you dummy.  That means you need to forgive yourself.  Yeah, yeah, I know what you're going to say, and I know.  I doubt I could forgive myself for starting a war, and maybe that's too tall an order for anyone.  But forgive yourself for feeling this regret and let yourself try to move on.  Because as long as you're stuck here, you are 'dooming' Flare.  Though not in the way you think.  He's going to see the constant worry and fear in you.  No matter how great you are at keeping your feelings hidden, they'll bubble to the surface eventually.  Do you really want to spend all this time worrying and regretting when you could be enjoying watching our son grow?"

Like they had planned this, Flare awoke and cooed, and so did Megatron's field.  A rush of warmth overcame the three of them as he finally allowed himself to smile and bring Flare close to his face, placing a kiss on his tummy that had him giggling.

"See?  You could be doing this instead.  Enjoying what life has given you."

"But I don't deserve all of this, Rodimus."  While he smiled, his optics turned dull as watched Flare.

Rodimus was tempted to snatch Flare away and get him out of Megatron's mess of a field.  Especially when he started to fuss.  The energy must be pricking at his little winglets in the same way Rodimus' spoiler was because they were flapping similarly, trying to dislodge what wasn't actually there.

"Yeah, maybe you don't.  But so what?  You have it.  Now maybe you can stop upsetting our son?"

A tiny face, scrunched up from discomfort, turned to his sire for answers and grabbed at his face.  It almost seemed like he was trying to smooth out the lines on Megatron's face, and eventually they did relax, though it was by his own doing.

"I'm sorry."  Megatron kissed Flare again, shutting his optics tight and ventilating deeply as he calmed his field.  Doubt and worry still niggled in the far reaches of it, but Flare was back to smiling and trying to poke his sire’s optics out.

Flare laughed.  The sweetest sound in the universe.  He laughed and papped Megatron’s cheeks, blissfully unaware of everything beyond this small interaction.

“My little solar flare,” Megatron murmured affectionately.

A little slice of the sun went from smiling to yawning once more.  He blinked rapidly, those big, Matrix blue optics of his dimming just a little.  He instinctively got closer to Megatron, but in this half-standing position, he couldn’t get comfortable.

“How about you lie down?” Rodimus suggested.  “I think you both could use a nap.”

“I can’t.”

“Then just lie down,” Rodimus said.  “Please?  For me?”

Megatron resisted for a few moments, then relented with a sigh.  He passed Flare to Rodimus, who fussed for a moment and then calmed as Rodimus ran a gentle finger along his winglets.  Still, he turned to watch Megatron get settled on the ground.  Once he was on his back, he returned Flare to him, and their bitlet quickly settled on his chest, curling up not unlike Ravage would.  Rodimus joined his family, lifting Megatron’s helm onto his lap.

“Comfy?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Just try to relax, yeah?  All I’m asking is you try.”

Megatron half-shuttered his optics.  “Alright.”

Flare already fast asleep, Rodimus watched his conjunx.  Mainly, how his crest rose and fell as though breathing.  Occasionally it would prick up and Megatron’s optics would flash open with a burst of red light.  He would settle again, but his optics never fully closed.

"Can you teach me?" Rodimus asked, hand hesitating over his crest.  "If it relaxes you half as much as it relaxes Flare, then I wanna learn.  I don't think you've let down your guard for over a month now."

"I can't afford to," Megatron said.

"You're not alone here, you know," Rodimus said, anger creeping into his voice.  "I can protect myself.  I can protect my son."  He forced his voice to soften.  "You don't always have to be the one doing all of the protecting."

Megatron turned his helm so he wouldn’t have to face Rodimus.  "If anything happened to you..."  He hugged Flare closer.  "Or to Flare, I could never forgive myself."

"Don't you trust me?"

Red optics looked up.

"Don't you trust me?" Rodimus repeated.

 "Of course I trust you, but—"

"But nothing.  I'm keeping watch, and you're going to have a nap.  Right after you teach me how to handle your crest."  With as light a touch as possible, Rodimus put a finger on the base of one of the quills.  He pulled away immediately when he felt Megatron flinch.  "Sorry.  I guess I'm not good at being gentle."

"No, it's my fault."  Megatron took a hold of his conjunx's hand and kissed it.  "Since I never take my helmet off, it's more sensitive than it should be.  I doubt that even I can make touching it feel pleasant."  He tried to do it, and it wasn't as shocking as when Rodimus did it, but it wasn't exactly enjoyable, either. 

"Why did you keep it covered, then?" Rodimus asked, stroking his face in lieu of his crest.

"It makes me vulnurable."

Rodimus nodded with understanding, continuing to stroke his cheek as Megatron’s optics slowly shut.  “You can be a little vulnerable.  I’ve got you.”

Without opening his optics, Megatron shifted Rodimus’ hand from his face to his crest.  He winced a little, but after a few gentle strokes his face relaxed and sire and sparkling didn’t look so different. 

He didn’t sleep.  Rodimus could tell.  His shoulders still felt stiff and his hands still protectively cradled Flare, but it was a start.  He kept his optics closed, at least.  A little bit of vulnerability.  A little more trust in his conjunx. 

A little slice of a normal life.


End file.
